1. Never go more than a day or a night without sorting out a conflict
2. Maintain your date nights
3. Stay connected
4. Promise to be interested
5. Make having fun a priority
5 Wedding Vows Every Couple Should Make
What are the promises you should make to each other in addition to the vows you make when you commit to one another? For happy couples in healthy relationships, promises are made all along the way, throughout the years and they change according to their needs. Couples who write their own vows on their wedding day often make them unique, specific and intensely personal and relevant to their relationship. Others who do general vows may promise more specific things during a vow renewal on one of their significant anniversaries. It's a great idea to privately renew your vows, for the stage of your relationship that you're in at that time, each year. Promises that seem small, compared to the big overarching ones on your wedding day, are actually the daily actions of love and often become more meaningful over time. They can become the glue that keeps you choosing one another day after day, after week, after month after year. Some really important promises to make to one another, to invest in your relationship include:
Don't let resentment fester and miscommunication become a pattern. Even if you're not ready to talk about the conflict and need more time to simmer down, don't allow each other to give the other the silent treatment. Even a statement of "I still love you, but I'm really angry and need some time right now" prevents further damage to the relationship during times of conflict. Promise to maintain the security of your relationship as a safe place for you both to be, no matter what transpires. When you feel safe and loved, you feel confident your relationship can negotiate even the toughest issues.
No matter what the circumstances are that seem like obstacles, such as demands of work and small children, it is the couples who do not maintain their connection who drft apart and live on in unhappy unions, or split. When going through divorce, one partner, or sometimes both, often apologise for neglecting the other, taking them for granted, and stopping the attention and romance. So promise to keep your alone time together steady and consistent, no matter what. It's the preventative health approach to your marriage to keep it functioning optimally.
In today's day and age, with so many ways to talk, text, email, Facetime, make sure if you experience distance in your relationship that you focus even more energy on staying connected. When you allow a pattern in of not communicating when one of you is away - for work or service or family obligations, or even fun trips with others than your partner, you signal that they are not a priority and you make non-communication acceptable. Don't set this precedent. Be each other's best friend. Promise to stay in touch so you stay connected no matter where each of you are. Healthy couples want to do this and it's easy at the beginning of a relationship - the promise is to do it years down the road and make maintaining your communication regardless of location or circumstance so you stay together and at the front of each other's minds.
When you marry your partner you marry their family, their work, their cares, concerns and hobbies. Whether you're interested or not, be interested in your partner. Promise to share some interests, but also promise to respect their interests and passions and support them. Healthy relationships help one another achieve growth and happiness. Be there for your partner and all they enjoy. You don't need to love the same things or even participate, but your positive support is a far better and more loving choice than being dismissive or putting their hobby or interests down. Loving them means loving them enough to grow -together and in parallel- doing and learning and listening to what they are passionate about.
Promise joy. And be specific about it. Promise to laugh together. Promise to touch each other. Promise to enjoy life together. Don't make the reason for your marriage just about the kids, or building a financial portfolio or paying off the mortgage. Life is short and you've chosen one another to share it with. Not every moment is destined, or even meant, to be joyful. But each of you can promise to seek to regularly find joy (not just once a year on an annual holiday). When you make this promise you characterise your relationship as one that is fundamentally happy and it is your responsibility to keep it that way together.